Saturday, February 12, 2011

I didn't really want to come here.

This is like "Ella's place" Her picture is everywhere. I didn't really want to come here. But I want to explain what happened. First of all I felt guarded all throughout this process, not about the process but about Ella. Not putting up her bed, not posting on here to often, I had a certain gut feeling. But I knew God was leading us for a reason, so I followed. So, Ella was not meant to be ours. When I opened the email, I did not feel surprised at all, not sure why.
The email basically said that when they went to submit our paperwork this past Thursday (yep I didn't even post about that) that they had were told that a french couple had viewed her file, met her, and were moving forward with her adoption. ????????????
Well, see, most of the time when someone adopts from these EE countries, the traditional way to do it is to submit for a "blind referal" meaning your the one who is blind. You list the ages, special needs, gender, etc.. that you are wanting to adopt. The give you adate to come to the country and they show you a file.
Her file was supposed to be set aside for us when she cleared for adoption last month. Some law changed.
She was not our child, we are not angry. It can't be a mistake, God does not give people children by mistake.
We are sad and grieving the loss of the idea that she was our child.
What is next?
We are praying about that. We think we will move forward with for a different waiting child. You see our paperwork expires in a week and a half, so next week is the last week it can be submitted without me redoing a lot of paperwork. Not that I'm not willing.
So, we've got a couple ideas, but we won't be revealing them right now.
We are doing good, the kids are doing good. They don't want to give up and neither do we.

14 comments:

  1. Praying for you during this time.

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  2. Praying... that God leads you to the special one that he has chosen for your family....As we know he will. I believe that your love for sweet little Ella was somehow a big help to her in the grand scheme of things. Loving is never wrong and it generates more love :)! God Knows...! Bless you!

    The Hartmans

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  3. i am so very sorry for your family. we are currently waiting for our homestudy to be finished up - dossier wont be sent for at least 6-8 weeks for 'Marissa' - praying the new law doesnt change things for us too. i am so sorry for your family....

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  4. I'm so sorry for your grief. We are actually waiting until next week to find out if Paula's file is truly available or not, so I know that uncertainty. She is the one that was in such a dire situation that made us "hurry". I wonder if God used her to just get us moving fast or if He really is going to let her be ours. Our other three are for sure with files reserved and commitment paperwork apostilled and to arrive on Monday.

    I have to say that I am excited to see how God is moving with you. I can't wait to find out who He actually does have planned for you. I'm so glad that you are able to see past your grief and realize the wonderful gift He must have for you and this other child. Praying that all goes smoothly. :)

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  5. Definitely praying for you and your family! :)

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  6. I do not know you, but found you through my cousin who is also in the process. I want you to know that I am praying for you. For peace, clarity, and for healing. You were a part of her journey and I pray you will be a part of someone else's. God bless you for your heart and may God continue to work in your lives and in Ella's. Praise to Him who unwinds the wickedly windy roads before us so we do not trip, as they are so tangled and darkened we cannot see.

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family and for the little one whom God has chosen for you.

    Rachel
    adventuresinthephilippines.blogspot.com
    findingmissingpieces.blogspot.com

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family and for the little one whom God has chosen for you.

    Rachel
    adventuresinthephilippines.blogspot.com
    findingmissingpieces.blogspot.com

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  9. Wow! I can't believe it. I am so so sorry for your loss of sweet Ella but I am SO sure your baby is out there!!!! Our prayers are with you in the next road you choose on this journey. ANY questions you may have you know how to reach me!
    Your child IS out there!!!!

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  10. Cara,
    I LOVE that you are not giving up! That is SO awesome and truly a blessing to so many people, including myself. God is going to do something really amazing with your family -- I can just feel it! You are in my prayers and I am SO excited to see what your next move is! :)

    Corbett

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  11. Cara --
    I LOVE your post! I am so blessed that you are not giving up -- what an encouragement to all of us. God is going to do something amazing with your family -- I can just feel it. Thanks for being such an inspiration!

    Love and peace!
    Corbett
    www.bigvandlittlesy.blogspot.com

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for your family and for the little one whom the Lord has chosen for you.

    Rachel
    adventuresinthephilippines.blogspot.com
    findingmissingpieces.blogspot.com

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  13. I am sorry you got disappointed like this. I am sure there's a child out there for you to adopt soon.

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  14. You are so amazingly positive, you are an inspiration to me!

    Catherine
    http://wronginalltherightways-travcat.blogspot.com/

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